Just like riding a bike

Hello, any one out there? I have been sadly missing typing all my thoughts and clearing out my head. Yes, it's been months. No, there's no excuse. Life just seemed to be happening so fast I could barely keep up, much less write about it.
Tate is now almost a year old. I have found that my post-partum mindset is amazingly the same with each of my children. I don't loose it immediately, right when they are born(shout out Becky, holla if you hear me ;-). No, I let the mid part, when my babies are 6-12 months, pull me under the fog. I don't pretend to know what it is that shapes my moods or balances my brain chemicals. I am thankful as hell for sympathetic doctors and for the antidepressants they dole out.
I haven't had an inkling to write, or do much else that's extracurricular, in a few months. Typing this now feels like getting on a pair of roller skates after leaving the rink for a few years. But wobbly, shaky, hear I come.
I have been trying to absorb every last minute of Tate's soon ending "babiness". Brad and I are done, no more babies for us. How sad to never again to hold a small soft newborn that came from me. How painful to know that this is it. I will admit that the first few months are my favorite. They are so small and I feel like I can protect my sweet new babes. It's the falling in love period for me. All filled with wonder and amazement at every corner.
Now life is fast. Tate is climbing out of her crib, into cabinets, and out of my protective abilities. Turner is smart, argumentative, and able to test all of my limits. Yet still, still I long for the these days to last longer. How to stretch the time? I take the kids to the pool where the sun seems to set a little slower. We hug a little longer. And with all the fun I pray a little harder for the days to keep being so simple.
I guess I am back, at least for today. I'll try to keep out of the fog, the sunshine feels so much better anyway. I'll try to write down all the fun stuff I want to remember. In thirty years I want to remember the day I told Turner that "We're going to the pool sucker!" My boy, ever witty, replied "OK lollie pop". Those little perfect moments are what I need, what I live for.