Little Monster meets Tate

Lil Monster decided to come meet the new family addition. In true Lil Monster fashion he snuck in unannounced. I thought Turner woke me up this morning, I failed to notice the horn gleaming underneath the bed mussed hair.
Lil Monster ran in my room at six thirty this morning and jumped up on my bed. He is a cute little demon. He then demanded oatmeal. My son, my Turner boy, always asks politely for oatmeal. Turner says "You want to share oatmeal wif me Mom? You have some from my bowl." Little Monster jumped up and proclaimed "I want OATMEAL!!!!!!! You not eat any of my OATMEAL!!!!!!"
Poor Tate. She was oblivious to Little Monster's loud decree. Nothing pisses of a monster like going unnoticed. Little Monster leapt over to Tate. I told him do not get close to her, she's sleeping. Tate likes to sleep in til about nine, but not this morning. Oh no, Little Monster put his grubby little finger on her eye lid and pulled it open while yelling "You wake? Now you wake!! Hahahaha...." Little Monster came with in an inch of having his hide tanned, but he's faster than me upon awaking.
Little Monster came with me to the chiropractors. What a mistake. The model spine that all doctors are required to display was grabbed and became Lil Monster's pet "talligator". He then chased the less dominate monsters who had come with their mom all around the office.
I foolishly decided to go to Old Navy and exchange some shorts for a different size. Just a quick errand before lunch and blessed nap time. Stupid, stupid mommy. Little Monster suckered me. He held my hand in the parking lot. He walked in and got a buggy out for me and then he launched his attack. We went to get the a fore mentioned shorts and in one quick move Little Monster mounted the top of the buggy scream at me to get Tate off his buggy. I pick my battles and this wasn't one of them so I packed the car seat and pushed the cart. Then little Monster protected his cart from passer-bys by growling and foaming at the mouth. Needless to say the sales associate had no problem exchanging the item with out a receipt. She had probably been given instructions via her headset to get the mom with the growling beast of a man child out of the store pronto.
Little Monster returned home with me and ate in a ravenous fashion. Mostering is hard work and builds a voracious appetite. After lunch it was time for a showdown.
In this corner weighing in at thirty seven pounds, the undisputed light weight champion Little Monster. In our other corner weighing in about twenty pounds more than she wishes Mommy. The title holder for the Western conference heavy weight division. The bell rings and I say the battle words "Nap Time".
Little Monster whips out his first attack, the smart mouth. "I don't need a stinking nap! I not going nap! I stay WAKE!!!" Mommy wastes no time and grabs up Little Monster and wrestles him into the beast's layer. Mommy takes a unexpected approach-No bathroom stop. Easier to wrestle Little Monster into a pull up than to try to force an unwanted urination. Mommy delivers her swan song move. She gives the kiss on the head, tells Little Monster she loves him, and walks out pulling the door to. Little Monster decides that though he has been driven back to his cave, he is not down for the count. Little Monster tests his lung capacity by yelling a siren song of woes and atrocities that his poor unfair life has dealt him. "I not need a nap. I gonna get up. I not sleeping!!!" Mommy is her own worst enemy at this point. Having no opponent in front of her she chooses to battle the dreaded invisible Mommy Guilt. The internal struggle lasts for about ten minutes, then she notices and odd sound---quiet.
Little Monster has given up and has laid down to recharge. Mommy does a silent victory dance, but doesn't indulge for long. Now mommy must restock her arsenal and get ready for the ambush that comes after the beast sleeps.