Friday, August 31, 2007

LASIK before Layette

Life works better if you can see, it's a simple truth. I can see from from about seven a.m. when I put my contacts in til nine p.m. when I take them out. In the few hours of wakefulness that are not spent with my contacts in I have an old pair of glasses that I can kind of see through.
I walked in to my bathroom last night at about nine thirty and took my contacts out. I was in a hurry because Tate was starting to fuss and I didn't want her to wake up Lil Monster. I figured I could just quickly brush my teeth and head for bed to soothe Tate and drift off to dreamland.
I have been brushing my teeth for roughly twenty eight years. We all know the general routine: wet toothbrush, put tooth paste on tooth brush, insert brush into mouth and scrub. I follow this same protocol no less than three times a day every day.
Being in a hurry last night I skipped one very important step in my nightly routine, I didn't grab my glasses. I took out my contacts quickly, grabbed my tooth brush and the blue tube on the counter and squeezed a bit of paste on my brush. I am a creature of habit so I put my tooth brush all the way to the back of the left side of my mouth. Once my toothbrush had been inserted and I began scrubbing my molars, I noticed the lack of minty freshness that only Crest can bring. Not only was there a lack of mint but there was the odd flavor of powder.
I put the toothbrush down and grabbed my glasses. Low and behold I had indeed grabbed a familiar blue tube, but not Crest, it was Destin. Instead of toothpaste I was brushing my teeth with butt paste, disgusting!
The moral of this little debacle is simple, before you plan your baby's layette go get yourself some LASIK. Not everyone needs vision correction. If you get a headache from watching TV with out your glasses on you do not need LASIK before having you're baby. If you can't see that there is a TV in the room with out your glasses on, I am talking to you. Do yourself a favor and get your eyes fixed before you too wind up with butt paste in your mouth or something even worse.

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