Good morning. Mine's effing great. My baby is at my mother in law's so I should be taking advantage and sleeping in. Am I ? No, up being pissed off. OK, my darling husband flies in tomorrow. Just letting you all know this because he'll be needing a ride home from the airport, cause I won't be there to collect his grumpy ass.
He forgets that I am, shall we say, a little bit on the tempramental side. Do not snap at me, do not tell me to shut up, do not take me for granted, all things he needs to be reminded of from time to time. Why? Well, he married me because(this is my theory anyway) I am not like the other girls he dated. He could not intimidate me. I will not be bullied. And maybe my borderline psycho-ness is a little sexy. I married him because he could not be wrapped around my finger. I had, up to that point, worn all the men in my life on my manicured hands and they all ended up boring me.
We met our match in each other so to speak. He forgets this now and again and I have to let loose my uncaring and cruel self to remind him what lies just beneath the sweet demeaner. He gets used to his bed being made, lunch and supper being homemade everyday, robe being rehung in the bathroom with slippers beneath it, errands being run, house being spotless, travel plans being made, and all the other everyday nicities that he has become acustomed to. I love doing all of these things and so much more. But I will not do them, not a one, if they are unappreciated or if he is being a little too much of an asshole.
I will not be talked to in a way that is remotely disrespectful. I will not be told to shut up. I will not pick up the phone to make up. I will not give him his travel information and flight schedules if he is pissy with me on the phone. I will not pick him up from the airport should he figure out what airline I made his reservations with. I will also make no effort to be the first to cave.
I used to want to call and talk. Now I let him call me. I visited home my first few times and he never called. So I quit. It took him a couple days, but the phone rang. A pissed off, pouty little boy was onthe other end mad that I had not called. I explained that the phone works in both directions. Now we call each other for the most part. I like to remind him that I can live with out him. Cruel? Maybe. Do I care? Not at all.
Brad is a pain in the ass to live with. I have an on going fantasy of getting a can of peas and smashing it into his head when he's not looking. And for future reffrence Mr. Prossecutor, yes this will be the evidence you need to prove that my actions were premeditated.
To let you in on a secret: I do love him, dearly. I will remain married to him for a very long time. I will continue taking very good care of him, as long as he remembers what I am worth. If he does not, all agreemnets are null and void. So, he is just in need of his quarterly tune up. He's good for about 15,000 miles and then needs to be reminded how his life would be with out someone doing all the little things that make his days go smoother.
When you pick him up from the airport, perhaps you could stop by a florist and let him pick something pretty out for his lovely wife. Maybe even make him sign his own card. All he has to do is show me that he cares, and I will reign in the fire breathing she devil that has been let out to play. I will comb my hair and put away the fangs and claws and we'll all have a Merry little Christmas.
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