I am up listening to my son roll through the halls of my parnets house on his scooter. I am still groggy from the half a Unisom I took last night. My doctor says that one of it's ingredients will help fight nausea. I do not puke while I sleep, but that's all I can vouch for. Chirstmas is in two days, but it's not feeling Christmassy to me.
Sure, there's tons of stuff I still need to get done: Buy groceries, make an attempt at duplicating my Mawmaw's cornbread dressing, cook something to bring to Gran's, cook something to bring to Brad's Pawpaw's, finish wrapping presents, and finsh sewing gifts for my sister to give to her other nephews. But none of it feels like Christmas used to feel. I guess Christmas used to feel so fun and care-free simply because it was care-free.
As a child there was no budget for gifts, only the joy of opening them. There was nothing to cook, only the eating of my favorite meal. Everyone was happy and had nothing to worry about. Now I realize that the kids were the only ones with nothing to worry about.
Now I have a litany of things to play on my mind this Christmas: I am troubled by the cough Turner can't shake. Is it asthma? Am I keeping enough food down to let a normal, healthy baby grow? I am still down five pounds and I am in my second trimester. Do I keep my prenatal vitamin down long enough to absorb anything from it? Will Turner have a meltdown on Christmas and it's Eve, due to running around so much? Will we continue to come home for Christmas?
I know I will have a break next year. My sister is getting married right before Thanksgiving next year. So, we'll fly in for that, stay for Thanksgiving, and head back to our home to spend Christmas there. But while here for my sister's wedding will my in-laws get mad that I don't go to Brad's little cousin's wedding? She is planning on having her's the same day as Tabitha's. I will not leave my sister's reception. I will stay and help my parents pick up and clean up the wedding aftermath. Just like my sister did at my and Brad's wedding.
So, I need a few things from Santa this year. Santa could bring me a calm stomach, a little more time around Christmas to get things done, he could sway the other bride to be to want a lovely summer wedding, give me a good resolution for the "To fly home or not to fly home" delema that we'll face over the next several years. For the most part, these things I can figure out on my own. But wouldn't it be great if Santa could still fix all your woes? Now I turn my wish list over to God. He's better at helping with problems and far better at listening. He hears my list of hopes and dreams through out the day and at night as I lay down and try to clear my head. I not only ask things of Him, but spend countless prayers simply giving thanks. It reminds me of how fortunate I am and that my problems are so small compared to the problems others face.
I hope all of you are having a Merry Christmas this year. One where the presents take a back seat to the gift of having a family to open them with. I will enjoy watching my son open his gifts. What I will enjoy more is watch ing him play with his grandparents and love on his Aunt and Uncles. I will hope we are making memories for him that will be close to my cherished childhood memories. I wish all of you the same, time with your family and peace in you hearts.
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