It's worth a thousand words

I had pictures taken this week of a pregnant me. I am very critical of my appearance and was worried how a nine month pregnant Tiffany would look. I have been very pleasantly surprised.
When I see myself in the mirror I see the veins running all over me. I see the fatter arms, the puffier face, the bags under my eyes, the wrinkles that used to not be there. I dissect my appearance. I usually see only the bad parts. But when I saw these pictures I saw my whole self. Not so much the veins and wrinkles but more the twenty eight year old mom pregnant with her second child. Things aren't supposed to be perfect. The scars left from my belly being pierced didn't look half as bad from someone else's perspective as they do from my own. In fact, none of me looked like what I see in the mirror.
Being Mom to a two year old also lets me view myself from someone else's viewpoint. To Turner I am ruler of the universe, righter of wrongs, finder of toys, maker of rules, and cooker of dinner. I like the way my son sees me. I want him to always think I am the best, but I know that is a fool's wish. So, I try to enjoy the fleeting time when "Mom still knows best".
My pictures let me have memories of this time in my life. Having a life inside me that Brad and I made. This time when I get to hold my son on the outside, my daughter on the inside, and the two of them in my heart.
I love pictures, they are freeze frames of my memories. I carry my camera with me every where. I want to have a picture of every single day, then I can remember all of them. Even the ones that "nothing special" happens are very special to me. On those regular old every-days I get to see magic when I look at my son. I get to see Brad change into the man who I can't live without. And, for the past nine months I have gotten to see myself change. I have had to let go of my own wants and ideas and give into a life out of my control.
The easy part of having a child is almost over. In a few weeks I'll go through labor and have my daughter. That is when really hard part begins. So now I have pictures of the calm before the storm. Pictures of Turner and I while it's still just Turner and I. Life is about to change, and I can't wait.