Calgon take me away

I love being an at home mom, I swear I do. But there are some days when the only way I can keep from screaming is to pull my own hair out and stuff it in my mouth. Today is one of those days. Turner has been waking up at five am again. He sits quietly in his room and talks to himself til five thirty when Brad gets up. He then gets out of bed to pee and Brad lays him down with me. I am a morning person, I have no problem getting up before the sun. What I do have a problem with is my son wanting to get up and start the day at five thirty am. There is nothing to do at that hour of the day. It makes the time between breakfast and lunch seem like an eternity. Besides that, it turns Turner into Little Monster at about ten am. He is so tired at that point all he can do is whine and cry over every little thing.
Perhaps I have less patience. I am huge and uncomfortable and trying to make room in me for this growing baby, so maybe there's no room left for patience. I try to keep him busy. I try to be entertaining. But nothing appeases a melting, sobbing child when they are tired and pissy.
Today noon couldn't come soon enough. I knew we could make it. That way he'd go down at a decent time and keep himself somewhat on a schedule. I could have two hours (or more, please let it be three) of quiet with no one pulling my hair. We made it, noon!
"Turner, let's go get ready to nap. I'll read you a story." The response needs to be imagined as being spoken through gut wrenching sobs with tearful eyes. "No I stay wake. Please stay up? I eat cake. Why I have to nap? Mommy please stay up!!!!!" I am the adult so I read a quick story and kiss him on the head and leave him to cry. Yes, I am cold. He doesn't usually act this way, but I am not gonna start letting a few tears ruin nap time. It takes about ten minutes but all is blessedly silent. Hallelujah!
I creep down stairs to work on a few baby gifts. I figure this way I am being productive and keeping it quiet to ensure a nice recharge time for us both. Well the fates are against me today. Turner, who has not peed in the bed or in his sleep in two full months, cries out that he's wet after only being down for forty five minutes. I love my son, I don't want him to be uncomfortable. I feel horrible that all I can think at this moment is how I pray he'll lay back down and go back to sleep. I can not have him wake up now, completely unrested and deal with him the rest of the day. He starts his argument for staying awake. I don't even answer him. I am a woman on a mission: Change the sheets, change his clothes, lay him back down, and run for the hills. And that is what I did.
Thankfully for all parties involved he is laying down. I don't know if he is sleeping, but it's quiet and that is what's important right now. I feel horrible when I have days like this. When I am short tempered and every little thing is on my nerves. Turner is two, he maks lots of noise. Usually this noise makes me smile. He's cute when he's singing or talking about everything under the sun. It's sweet when he is climbing all over me and shadowing my every move. But then days like today come. The days that I haven't gotten enough sleep because he's been up for three mornings in a row by five am or before. He is wild, my fuse is short, and he is whinning instead of talking. Into the house marches "Mommy Guilt". I hate that feeling. "You should appreciate every moment with your son. Do you know how many women would give anything to be at home with their children? He's just two and is acting the way all two year olds act, what is your problem?" And on and on it goes.
I do love every minute. But if there were no stessful times how would I appreciate the great days when everything goes right and we hate to go to bed and make it come to an end? Tomorrow I will wake up, maybe at five maybe at six thirty. I will love the little monster who sleeps across the hall. We will have a great day, one with no whining or temper tantrums. Or, I will simply pull the hair out of the left side of my head so it matches the right side, aren't mowhawks coming back anyway?