Lay wiff me

Tate is onto my and Turner's game. She figured out that he isn't napping anymore, he's only in his room playing. So Ms Priss decided not to nap either yesterday. She came out of her room when Turner did.
Oh but no! We are not giving up nap for her too. So I marched her back in and did the only thing I knew would make her go to sleep, I laid down with her. I know a lot of parents love laying with their children, but mine are with me 24/7 with no Grandpa's or Grandma's near for a break. Their nap time is my time to recharge and get ready for round two. But desperate times call for desperate measures. So in her bed I crawled and wrapped an arm around her tiny body. She was asleep with in five minutes, but to my surprise, I wasn't ready to get up.
Tate is by far the more difficult of my children to deal with. She's loud, she's bossy, she's demanding, she's...me. Yesterday was great. I needed to hold my three year old and remember what it was like to hold her as a baby. I needed to spend time with her being quiet so I could hear her soft breathing. I lay with her for half an hour and stared at her round checks and long lashes. I smelled the wonderful scent of Johnson's Lavender Shampoo mixed with the smells of outside. For half an hour yesterday I had a baby again.
I won't make a habit of laying down with Tate. I relish my hour and half of quiet everyday. But next time she refuses a nap I won't be so irritated to have to lay down with my sweet lil devil to make her rest. It may just be the re-charge I need too.

It's been a while, and I missed you.....

I have missed you oh blank canvass! The voices in my head have had no medium in which to hold discussion. I miss archiving the mundane wonderfulness that is my life. The last we spoke I was pursuing you thru MySpace. But alas you were out shined by my new friend FaceBook. Thru FaceBook I can keep up with who is working out, tired, hungry or having a great Monday. It's probably too much false closeness, but I love it. The new phone Brad got me has Twitter all ready to go, all I have to do is join the Twitterverse. But I am reluctant, can my life be summed up in 160 characters?
Sometimes I question why I write, it comes in spurts and often leaves me frustrated. But then I look back and realize I have journaled in one form or another for 15 years. I'm scared this go round won't have the sweet retrospective feel it did on MySpace. Now Tate is the terror that rules my life. Now I battle with the urge to run out the door into the night in hopes that Brad would marry a woman capable of raising Tate to fulfill her destiny of world domination. I never thought a three year old would be the force that brings me to my knees.
I know I am cut out for stay at home motherhood. My house is well kept, my children semi well behaved on occasion, and I feel like this is my place in the world. But the mommy doubt is creeping in more and more. How can I have two children raised exactlly the same, yet so differnt? I always thought if you put the same ingeidents in to two difernt pots the outcome would be the same, welll boy was I wrong!
Goodbye for now. I'll beback again in a day or two when I need the therapy of clicking keys and semi-cohearant thoughts.