Pee stains on toilets, come on sing it with me

I know Christmas is long gone, but I can't get this tune out of my head "Rain drops on roses and wiskers on kittens..." But here's my version:

Pee stains on toilets
and scum in my tub

Pre-treating poop stains
and tile floors I should scrub

Brad's shirt collars have nasty rings
These area few of my most hated things

Too many shirts to press
and not enough time

Dust on every shelf
and my kitchen's full of grime

Yellow work gloves on my hands and I can't wear my bling
These are a few of my most hated things

When I get hugs

When the babes smile

When I'm feeling glad

I simply remember why I do all the work
and then I don't feel so bad

If my mind didn't work on such trivial, silly things I may be able to accomplish something once in a while. There is a sneaky idea thief reading this somewhere. Just watch, the new Broadway musical "Pee stains on toilets.." will be wining Tony awards in a year or so. Then it'll go on to star Patricia Heaton in a movie adaptation and bring in eighty million it's opening week. Well you heard it here first, it's what on my twisted mind. Now off to scrub some floors.

I want my money!

I am going on strike. Yes you heard me, strike. I refuse to come up with another fantastic idea until I am being paid royalties. The people at Apple owe me(this is a loose estimate) seventeen million dollars. I have had music playing in my head since birth. I am the original IPOD. My brain has been set to shuffle for years. I am only seeking seventeen million dollars because I never sent in any formal proposals. I assume that one of their sneaky idea stealing techs was behind me in line at Albertson's and heard me sing eleven different songs in three minutes. I want my money Apple, don't make me get the lawyers after you.
As sure as I am that I am the original IPOD, I am equally sure that the resurgence of American Gladiators is due to me and my kids. No one person was sitting around and came up with water obstacles, giant Q-tips, and Battle Royals. No, the slimy TV idea men sat outside my window and watched my obstacle course. First round, baby jumping. This consists of me trying to sweep one-handed. Then I set Tate on one side of the room and grab my mop. My goal is to mop around her while luring her to the already dried areas. Sounds easy? Bring your A game. I'll put money on Tate any day against any mopper. The Gladiators run up a cushy padded slope while squishy foam balls are gingerly rolled at them, please. Let them try to climb the stairs at my house(which are not padded) while Turner and his friends throw cars, trucks and buckets at you. Come on Saber, only real men compete here.
I am also delusional enough to think that the whole Survivor craze was inspired by babies. Now mine weren't born yet so I know there's some poor mom out there who's been cheated out of her money. So if it was your baby scooting around on the floor surviving off eating three year old Cheetos, army crawling through mud, and testing your will at stare downs go get your money.
Today Tate got into a sticky mouse trap. I bet that in it's opening season there will be a sticky type challenge on Gladiators. I am not kidding NBC, I'm pissed. I really do think I'm on to something here. Or maybe I'm on something and delusional. Which ever the case may be I'm all fired up with no one to bitch to. I am off to retrieve the Siren of the Second Floor. I'm starting to take notes today, so I'll have proof that it's my ideas that make the world go round. No more freebies go get your own genius ideas.