Hi, My name is Tiffany and I am a clean-a-holic. I stand here today and admit I am powerless to fight the compulsion. Once I smell Mr Clean or Clorox I am no longer myself and shouldn't be held accountable for my actions.
Yesterday I realized that I might have a problem. This startling revelation came to me as I was on my hands and knees inside my fireplace scrubbing away soot. What would possess a nine month pregnant woman to climb in a fireplace to clean it? I have no idea. It was like an alien abduction, I just blinked and realized where I was and what I was doing. But should Tate or any of my upcoming house guests want to curl up in the fireplace, it is as clean as a whistle.
The madness didn't stop there. My friend Leann informed me that vacuuming a vacuum is over the line a bit. Why? My theory is that you cannot clean with a dirty cleaning appliance. I cleaned yesterday and went to empty the canister on my beloved vacuum. After emptying it I was cleaning the filters like always and I got that itchy feeling. You know, that one that strikes when you know there is more dirt out there, you just have to find a way to get to it. So I did the sensible thing, I hauled the vacuum outside and scrubbed the inside of it with a toothbrush for thirty minutes. When I was satisfied that I had dislodged any dirt that may have been hiding I came in and got the Dirt Devil Cone out of it's cradle and vacuumed the inside of my big Bissell. This is a sad and never ending cycle. Once you vacuum one vacuum with another then one vacuum is clean while the other one is now full of the first ones dirt. But I had to stop short of vacuuming the inside of the cone with the Bissell, even an addict has standards.
My poor fish got caught up in the madness. Both the big tank and the small bowl are clean and sparkly this morning. After cleaning the fish abodes I was washing my hands and noticed that the soap dispensers were a little lack-luster. So I went through the house and collected all the soap pumps and washed them too. What good are clean soap dispensers if the garbage cans are dirty? You can't just wash your hands and throw your paper towel into a dirty garbage can. So the Clorox came out and now all my trash receptacles are clean enough to eat from. Now there wasn't much to bleach considering that I just bleached the cans a week and a half ago, but as I said before I am powerless against the compulsion.
This morning I have had time to bake a cake. While the smell of German chocolate filled the house I had time to Lysol wipe all the light switches and clean the computer key board. What is the point of all of this? To my crazy mind if I have the house clean and neat then it doesn't matter when I go into labor. I can happily be in the hospital and know that if anyone has to come to my house to gather supplies or help out with Brad and Turner that they will not think I am a slob when they bend over to inspect the fireplace. Likewise, should anyone come over and administer the "White Glove Test", my house would pass. Is any of it necessary? Of course not. But who among us can resist the smell of chocolate mingling with bleach and Lysol in the morning?
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