I've been places I never thought I'd go-i.e. the men's bathroom at Walmart on a busy Saturday afternoon. Turner and I made our weekly menu yesterday, we wrote out our shopping lists, and headed to the store. I can't even blame this one on Little Monster, Turner was so good the whole trip.
Walmart on a Saturday is a crazy, busy place. The isles are crowded and no one knows proper buggy etiquette. In spite of the shopper influx Turner and I had a great trip. Of course when you have stopped in at you local Baskin Robbin's and gotten a chocolate blast to share, what could possibly go wrong? We got everything on our list, more even. Turner got a cute new pair of Elmo sandals, groceries were overflowing the cart, and no potty accidents. We headed to the check out area. As per typical Saturday style almost all of the registers were manned, but there were still lines.
After half of a chocolate blast my bladder was screaming for relief. My plan was to park the buggy, run to the women's restroom for a pit stop, then return to steak out a place in line. I shared my battle plan with my head sergeant. He listened, got his orders and took off. One of the downfalls of the rapidly developing toddler mind-they skim over details, men's room/women's room it's all the same. Turner took off like a bolt of lightening. He zigged and zagged through the people standing in line at the check outs, I pushed the cumbersome buggy as fast as I could trying to keep up.
Turner knows where the bathrooms are, if your mom was pregnant you would too. I could see he was heading in the right direction as I was parking our rolling wagon of gypsy treasures. I saw it happen from the corner of my eye, he was heading in the wrong door. Oh crap! There are roughly three hundred people in Walmart at this particular time, so maybe the hundred and fifty men all have bladders of steel and it's a vacant men's room, oh to be so lucky. I yelled STOP! but Turner never checked up. So I took off behind him. I ran combat style, crouched down, eyes averted and head first into enemy territory. I see a flash of Turner's stripped shirt as I round the corner and sprint head fist into what I can guess was the urinal area. My first sergeant was shell shocked upon embedding himself in the hostile territory, happens to a lot of soldiers on their first mission to foreign lands. Turner stops, sees four or five men milling around and says loudly "Hey Mama these boys pee pee!" He's so observant, yes there are men in here and there are typically only girls when he and mommy go potty together. His stunned state allows me to catch up, grab him by the shirt and drag him out before we see anything we shouldn't. One grandpa aged man falls out laughing, having seen the whole incident from the beginning. He had followed us in to the bathroom. He saw me running and failing trying to grab at greased lightening.
I have never been in a men's bathroom at Walmart. The floor was nice, not too dirty and the men in there had on clean shoes, that's all I saw, thank goodness. Turner and I went to the much more familiar women's side and did our business, the whole while discussing why mamas and papas don't pee pee in the same bathroom and the importance of holding Mommy's hand.
I won't say that our little excursion to land of the stand up urinators made the shopping trip bad, we still had a great day. I laughed harder than I had all day and got a little cardio workout from the quick sprint. After pottying we checked out and rolled back to the truck. Turner helped unload our goodies and we sang on the way home. Life is good, it's good because it's funny and full of unexpected adventures. How boring would my day have been if I had been by myself? I'd have gotten everything in half the time but I would have had only one onehundreth of the enjoyment. My little man makes the ordinary an adventure. He shows me the new in things that I take for granted. And sometimes he leads me into room full of urinating men, but you take the good with the embarrassing and it makes for a really wonderful life.
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