Turner and his pee

Thank you first for all of you keeping my boy in your prayers. We went to the urologist today and found out pretty much nothing. They did an ultrasound of his bladder and kidneys. They all look healthy. So they don't know why there is blood in his urine. The urologist wants me to chart his potty habits over the next four weeks, then come back and repeat the tests. If at that point there is still blood in his urine they will send him to the nephrologist.


I wish they would have just sent us to the nephrologist in the first place, but we must follow the chain of command. We went through this same series of steps with Brad. So keep thinking of Turner B. Hey, who doesn't want a happy thought during the day anyway, right? I will still be reminding God that I am down here with the world's sweetest boy and asking Him to protect my baby. thank you all again and I will keep you posted. I may leave out how many times a day he potties, unless you really want to know----T

Something eated it all gone

You just never know when you kids may say something profound, so keep yours ear open. Now last night, Turner didn't say anything profound, but he sure was funny.


We were winding up our nightly routine of baths etc. I got Turner out of the shower and he stood around wrapped in his towel while I finished lotioning Tate and putting her PJ's on her. When it was Turner's turn he dropped his towel and looked down. His face got all serious and he said "Mom there must have been something in that shower that eated my peepee. Look it's all gone!" I promptly fell to the bed and laughed myself silly. I tried to regain my composure and assure my sweet boy that nothing "Eated his peepee". Shrinkage happens.


Ahhh, the life lessons are always rolling in. I'm so glad some of them are light hearted and funny as hell.

Very weeeee!

I am trying to be very "present" with my kids. No, I'm not in to new age trippy spirituality, just trying to appreciate the moments as they happen. While paying attention to the every day tasks that my time is flooded with I have witnessed the extraordinary.


My daughter is only nineteen months old. She can string together a couple three word sentences at best. So philosophy discussions with her are a bit out of the question. Even with a limited vocabulary she gets her point across with an eloquence that escapes most adults. Today after leaving the gym Tate and I ran into the library to grab a new book for me. There are decorative brick half walls at the library's entrance. Tate pointed and grunted. I knew she wanted to walk along the top of them. I have let her do this many times. At one foot wide and three feet tall the brick wall is the equivalent of a tight rope to a toddler. I imagine she feels adventurous and free while walking across something taller than she is. I picked her up and let her walk the length of the wall, then she jumped off into my arms. The smile on her face was beautiful. I asked her if it was fun, she nodded and said "Very weeeeee!". I don't think there are any other two words that she could have said to sum it up. Very weeeee, so simple and so perfect.


Very weee is how I feel about my life. Yes, to others it may be just walking a well worn path. To me it is fun and full of adventure. What goes on in our daily lives could be construed as boring to an outsider. The monotony of nap time, bath time, bed time, and the endless chores. But what an outsider can't see is the weeee stuck in between the ordinary. No one else can see the little side ways glances and share in the wonder that my children make possible.


I am by no means a perfect mom. Did my kids clean their supper plates? Not even close. Is the house spotless? Don't I wish. But today I got to see what very weee could be. So I can let the sweeping and mopping slide for a day. The towels will still need to be folded tomorrow. Maybe I'll get it done tomorrow while T n T nap. I don't want to miss a second, you never know what magic might happen when they are awake.

Forced Meditation

When it's quiet where does your mind wander? Do you sit and fret about the audit you're having to get together for the beeping Utah State Tax Commission? Do you worry about the blood in your four year old's urine? What about his ears and the tubes he'll be getting soon? Not me, none of that is eating away slowly at what mind I have left. Nope the next two weeks will sail by and I will be stress free, then pigs will fly right out of my butt.


I am trying my hardest to not "stress" in the traditional sense. When my chest gets tight and I feel like the walls are closing in I try to turn to God. I am not good at remembering the scripture but I know there is a verse in Philippians about petitioning God repeatedly and doing it humbly that will get your prayers answered. So I am repeating my prayers. Sometimes it makes me feel better, sometimes it makes me want to yell.


I have been noticing just how great my kids are while I sit and watch them play. While I sit praying for them, I see God in each of them. I see Turner's giving heart and his willingness to please others. I see great strength (and maybe a little stubbornness) in Tate. I am thanking God for letting me see the little moments my kids share every day. I am relishing standing just out of sight and listening to their conversations. I am watching the brother sister bond grow each day.


We'll be going to the pediatric kidney specialist in two weeks. I will let all of you know what we find out. Hopefully it will be blessedly uneventful and all I will have nothing to report but "Turner is fine".

Nothing witty

I got a call today from Turner's doctor. She called me after office hours from her home number-this made me think something was up. Well, Turner had some blood in his urine at his check up so now he's being sent to a Nephrologist(kidney specialist). I am worried to say the least. Brad has mild kidney disease, so maybe that has something to do with it.


I hate feeling helpless. I hate wondering if something is wrong with my sweet little boy. I have nothing witty to say, nothing insightful. What I have is raw unfiltered fear. Yes my "right mind" knows this could very well be nothing. Yes my "right mind" knows it could be something benign. But my mommy mind is reeling out of control and bringing me to my knees.


Say a prayer for Turner B. I know God will be tired of hearing my voice. I'll let you know what we find once we get in to the specialist. Thanks--T

Hello you Ok, good, bye

I am a little special. No I don't mean that I am so cute and really sweet (although I am). I mean I am a little bit goofy. I had the faintest memory of some foggy terrible dream that something happened to Brad. So I called him this morning. He answered "Hello"


I said "OK you're alright, bye"


Sweetness knows that I am weird and he didn't ask what the hell was wrong with me, he just said "Yep I'm fine, bye". I love that man for not questioning my insanity. I love him for not pointing out that I am nutty. He doesn't care that I get up five times a night to check on the kids and make sure they are safe in their beds breathing like normal.


I am happy to have found a person that ignores my craziness. Seven years and counting, it'll only be weirder from here on out. Maybe my resolution for the year should be to worry less. I just don't see me keeping it even for a day much less a whole year. I am a hundred percent without a doubt type A control freak. Mine manifest itself in many different ways, but a big one is worrying. Or am i just an normal mom? That could be a toss up.


Well here's to no more dreams where my husband gets mauled by a tiger, here's to not quite so much worrying. Happy 2009.